Facing my fear of guns

Taking my first shots

Violence and guns. An aversion I will always have.  When I unexpectedly saw a gun sitting in its case at a friend’s house, I noticed how strong my reaction was.  I had never seen a gun in person before.  My friend explained that he has the licensed gun for hunting, and belongs to a gun shooting range.

It got me thinking … maybe I should face this aversion and it would help conquer my fear of guns if I experienced shooting one.  Well, low and behold, one of those irresistible coupons arrived in my inbox to go to DVC Indoor shooting range.

DVC’s reception area with selection of guns in the case

As I walked into the reception area, I heard the gun shots, and anxiety set in. Bang, bang, bang, and BOOM!

The briefing did a very good job showing us the safety rules and how to load the gun and shoot. The staff were very professional, friendly and extremely safety conscious.

I only missed once!

My heart was pounding as I picked up the 9mm handgun for the first time. I felt like I had forgotten everything they taught me. I was able to calm myself somewhat with steady, mindful breathing.  I guess I did OK, and you can see the result in the photo of the target. I shot 50 rounds, which is 50 bullets.

The only incident was pretty funny but could have been a terrible disaster had it not been for the keen staff member who carefully watched over me.  One of the bullet shells had flipped up into the air, and traveled right down my top!  Those shells are super hot, and I jumped and shrieked!  In one quick motion, the staff member had grabbed my gun and pulled out the magazine to disengage it, while I finished my little freakout dance to get the bullet out of my top.  Good thing, as I would have flailed that gun around without thinking!

So, the end result is I feel better having some familiarity with guns.  I’m not quite as fearful but I certainly still have an aversion to them.

I definitely was practicing mindfulness through most of this experience.  Noticing my reactions, concentrating on the present moment, and breathing slowly to calm myself down.

However, I’m glad that it’s over!

Wishing you a wonderful day,

~Wendy

 

Can you let go of someone’s bad decision?

What can you do when someone you care about is making bad choices?  Great examples of ‘bad’ choices in your opinion may be:

• When your friend has cancer, and she is relying entirely on chemotherapy and radiation as the cure, and continues to eat junk and processed foods.
• When your sister is dating a total loser!
• When your child is going to travel for a year after high school, instead of continuing their education.
• When you see your friend’s self-destructive behavior is going to get himself fired.

And if you listen to the voice inside your head, you may be hearing:  “What aren’t they listening to me? Don’t they know that’s a bad decision?  I can’t let them do that!”

You may have guessed that what I’m about to say pertains to how you can change your own actions, rather than trying to change the other person.

My philosophy is generally this:

Provide your perspective and knowledge in a respectful & caring way, but after that, allow the other person to have their own journey.

Everyone learns from every experience they have.  If we love the person, we want what is best for them, but we also need to remember that our opinion is certainly not necessarily the same opinion as others, or right, for that matter.

After all is said and done, if we allow the other person to have their own journey, this is their journey to have, not ours.

To release ourselves from this attachment not only respects the other person to have their journey, but it also provides ourselves relief from the frustration of our own desires.

This is a way to cultivate more peace in our own life.

~Wendy

 

 

 

When waiting for scary test results. . .

Waiting for test results can feel lonely.

This post is quite personal, folks.  We’ve probably all been there at some point in our lives – something isn’t quite right with our health so we get some tests done and are waiting anxiously for the results. Our maybe one result came back that calls for further tests to be done.

I’m going through one of these times again. One test came back worrisome, showing signs of possible cancer in me again. Now I’m on a fast track to get several more tests done to get an overall landscape of my blood work to see what’s going on.

My belief is that I overcame my cancer from 2010, but even though the mainstream healthcare system here in British Columbia is pretty good compared to many countries in the world, it falls terribly short in helping cancer survivors monitor for cancer recurrence.

This post can go in one of two directions – how to deal with this time of anxiety and fear, or how to deal with the desire for good health monitoring outside of the mainstream public healthcare system.  For this post, I will focus on the former – I’m not yet ready to tackle the highly controversial and complex topic of seeking non-mainstream healthcare – but I probably will in the future. I am learning so much about that; it’s astonishing what most people do not know and I am finding out.

So here I sit, hoping that I am healthy, but the first test result is not good. How can I deal with the anxiety and fear?  Here is what I’m doing, whether right or wrong, it is what it is:

• Allowing the moments of deep fear, and letting myself ‘freak out’. Of the many things that mindfulness has taught me, one is that having emotions is not a bad thing. Being aware of these emotions and realizing they are temporary helps greatly.
• Knowing that whatever happens, I can deal with it (I hope).  Goodness, I’ve been through a lot in my life already – my cancer, parents with cancer, divorce, various health issues, stressful jobs, helping others, etc. Each experience has made me stronger, and this is all part of life.
• It’s a stark reminder of the value of life.  I’m pretty sure I don’t take life for granted, but somehow I think these scares are messages for me.  It stops me in my tracks and makes me take stock of how I’m living my life. I see it is time for a slight adjustment in a few areas.
• And yes, meditation and mindfulness helps me stay grounded.  As my followers keenly know, I know that these life skills build resiliency and a joy for life.  Every time life is hard, I meditate more, and it gets me through that phase.

John Mann, musician

I just wrote a post about John Mann’s meaningful music he created during his cancer journey. For those of you facing cancer, it can be highly emotional to watch, but it can also be comforting to feel you are not alone. I find it therapeutic to listen to, but be ready to cry – I’ve received many emails already from people this has touched.

Here is hoping that some people out there reading this may be helped even a little by reading this if you too are in the midst of a possible health scare.

~Wendy