Feeling overwhelmed? Remember ‘RAIN’

Maybe this post will reach you at the right time – when you are feeling overwhelmed with life, here is a mindful way you can help yourself through it.  This is from Tara Brach (author, teacher and clinical psychologist), whom I thankfully heard about from my good friend, David.

When life just seems just too much to handle, do RAIN.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Being ‘overwhelmed’ can be caused by events that you need to deal with, and for me recently, it has been more about just having too much to ‘do’ in my life, feeling like there was too little space to enjoy the things I wanted to do.

I ran across this RAIN technique by Tara Brach, and it honed by mindfulness practice even more.  By practicing this, it has really helped me self-manage in a much healthier way when I feel overwhelmed.

A quick summary of RAIN:

Recognize what is going on

Recognizing means consciously acknowledging the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are affecting us. This is a self-awareness that simply recognizes when we feel overwhelmed or stuck.

Common signs of being overwhelmed are:  a critical inner voice occupies your thoughts, feelings of shame or fear, or the physiological experience of anxiety or depression.

Allow the experience to be there, just as it is

Allowing is about letting the thoughts, emotions, feelings, or sensations we have recognized simply be there. Instead of judging ourselves, or avoiding the situation, we can simply pause with intention and relax our resistance.  Let the experience be just as it is — I find this especially helpful when the situation is something I cannot do anything about.  When I can’t change the situation, I can still change my reaction to it.

This isn’t easy to do, and needs practice. But when I take on an attitude of ‘allowing’, I do feel a certain ‘ease’ with the issue.

Investigate with kindness

Investigating means being curious to explore what’s going on within us.  Pausing to ask, what is happening inside me?, can initiate recognition, but investigation adds a more active and pointed kind of inquiry.  You might notice hollowness or shakiness, then discover a sense of unworthiness and shame masked by those feelings. Unless you bring them into awareness, your unconscious beliefs and emotions will control your experience and perpetuate your identification with a limited, deficient self.

Natural awareness

Natural awareness is when our sense of who we are is not fused with limiting emotions or stories.

Though the first three steps of RAIN require some intentional activity, the N is the treasure: A liberating homecoming to our true nature. There’s nothing to do for this last part of RAIN; we simply rest in natural awareness.

The RAIN of Self-Compassion is not a one-shot meditation, nor is a practice that is always steady and present.  Rather, as you practice you may experience a sense of warmth and openness, a shift in perspective as you deal with the issues.

To read this article in more detail, please read from Mindful.org here.

I recommend Tara Brach’s book: True Refuge: Finding Peace & Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart.  It’s for people who are truly open to cultivating a better life experience.

Have a wonderful day,

~Wendy

 

How much do you matter in this world?

We desire to be seen and valued

How much do you tie your self-worth to the job that you do, or to how much money you have in the bank?

Do you hear your inner voice bashing you?

I just had a meaningful conversation with a dear friend, whom I have such high regard for.  I’ll call her Stacey in this post  🙂   Stacey is feeling bummed out because at the moment she’s not very busy and people aren’t lined up to buy her consulting services.  She’s a lot like me in this regard — the logical brain knows that “It’s OK. There’s so much to be grateful for in my life, and things will certainly change. So stop worrying about it!”  But the inner voice loves to sabotage and says “I can’t be any good if I’m not in demand. Something’s wrong.  I feel like a failure.” The irony is that anyone who knows Stacey would wholeheartedly agree that she is a wonderful person and she does fantastic work, but surprisingly she’s gotten down about herself.

I often wonder:  Why does the human brain have to be so self-sabotaging?   Why are our brains like velcro to negative thoughts? It takes so much effort to try to stay positive – man, this is tiring!

Here are a few things that help me, and helped Stacey too:

1. First, I get grounded and center myself.  I like to look up to the sky and breathe. This super simple action helps to remind me how vast the world is and to get my thinking out of the hole that my imagination has dug.
2. Then, I practice breaking the ties from valuing myself according to my job/career.  I’ve been pretty successful with that although it comes back to bite me occasionally, and I mostly value myself now by how I help people.  This new way of valuing myself means I don’t judge myself on how busy I am, it’s based on knowing that I’ve made a difference somehow, every single day, or most days.   I reflect on how I’ve made a difference.
3. But one big tip — I don’t try so hard. Relax into this practice.  I see this practice as ‘allowing’ rather than ‘working at it’.  When I released the feeling of it being work, and instead opened up to it and allowed myself to sink into it, it became a revelation rather than work. This attitude of ‘allowing’ made all this easier to do.

So tackle that internal sabotaging inner voice, and begin to allow yourself to ease into your practice.

Look at your life from the outside, holistically. Know that if you make a positive difference in the lives of others, this is the true value of who you are.

 Have a wonderful day,

~Wendy

InspireHealth integrated cancer care is now free

This is a big deal! Thanks to the BC government and all the donations that made the removal of fees possible.

Do you have cancer, or know someone with cancer?

InspireHealth is not-for-profit society providing a whole-person approach for cancer. They include healthful nutrition, appropriate exercise, and emotional, spiritual and immune support. Their services are available to any Canadian living with cancer and their support people.  They have offices in Vancouver, Victoria and Kelowna (British Columbia), plus an online virtual component for those not living in these three cities.

Their services used to cost $445 for membership, and now it is free!

I cannot stress the importance of getting whole-person, integrative care through the cancer journey.  Without it, you might be dealing only with oncologists and specialist appointments, surgery and cancer drugs. It’s critical to support the body’s healing ability with whole-person care.  For me, my biggest take-aways were learning what foods to eat or avoid, healthful cooking, relaxation such a meditation and yoga, and most importantly, feeling that I had some control over what was happening to me.  Using their doctors as part of my team gave me more confidence in my choices.

I’m happy to support InspireHealth. They’ve helped me and many of my friends.

I was fortunate to find InspireHealth through dear friends in the first week of my diagnosis.  InspireHealth introduced me to the world of whole-person care, and now I’ve been able to learn well beyond this myself.

Here is an testimonial I did for InspireHealth in 2010, unscripted and a bit shaky, I wanted to let people know the importance of InspireHealth.

I didn’t know what I didn’t know – whole-person care (whether you have cancer or not) is so important to living life fully and with intention. InspireHealth started me on this path, and now I realize that their teachings were just the start. I wish I had known this earlier in life!

Attend a free ‘fireside’ chat every Monday at 3pm at their offices to learn more.

~Wendy

Celebrating 5 years since my cancer diagnosis!

5 years of living life with intention and gratitude. Easing up on myself for not trying to be perfect and ‘doing’ so much.

Hi everyone, I want to share my celebration with you that today, May 7, 2015, marks 5 years since the day of my cancer diagnosis in 2010.

The so-called “5-year survival rate” refers to the percentage of patients who are alive at least 5 years after their cancer is diagnosed.  It’s certainly not an indicator of being cancer-free, or what the chances are for recurrence, but it seems like a good time for me to celebrate and recognize how I am today – which is pretty darned good!

The past 5 years have been especially marked by:

• Continuous learning for whole-person, integrative healthcare to change the internal environment of my body so I could heal and stay healthy.
• Paying my learnings forward by helping others with their cancer journey.

The most unexpected outcome of all, however, has been the discovery of internal strength that meditation and mindfulness has given to me, and now I teach this to others individually, in groups and in corporate workplaces.  My life has changed quite dramatically in the past 5 years – and surprisingly, for the better.

Every time I teach, I learn. 

Every time I help someone with their struggles in life, I feel my purpose.

You often hear people with cancer say that it was the best thing that ever happened to them – I’m not sure I would actually go as far to say that(!), but it did give me a hard kick in the pants and many things are so much better as a result. I still have some health issues, and some days the fatigue is depressing, but overall, I feel fortunate.

I send my gratitude to all of you who read my blog; somehow this makes a wonderful connection between us all.

Life certainly can be pretty hard at times, but remember, all the difficulties as well as the joys, are part of the human experience.

Don’t let life pass you by.

See life as an adventure.

Choose to live in joy, not fear.

 All the best to you all,

~Wendy