Stop imagining the worst

“If you imagine the worst, then when the worst happens, you’ve lived it twice.”

I heard Michael J. Fox say this on TV recently, and it made me want to share it with you.  I find him to be very inspiring. With his Parkinson’s disease, he still lives a full life and did not shy away from his acting career.  He’s a very positive and life-loving person, and grew up in my home town! I love to see when people find ways to continue life with vigor despite some circumstance or health issue they might have.

The quote he said above, simply means that the stories and scenarios we play in our minds feel very real to us. Our thoughts create our reality. So when we fabricate situations in our minds – like thinking how a scenario may play out in the worst way, we are making ourselves experience this, even though it’s not really happening.  Why do we torment ourselves? Take a moment to think about this. When you are playing out a situation in your mind in a negative way, don’t you feel the negativity in your body?  Your body is actually experiencing it. And if you believe in the mind/body connection, your mind is creating your body’s reality.

We all do this, and so do I.  But if we can become self-aware and intentionally change our thoughts so we don’t torment ourselves, we can be create a happier life.  I know this isn’t easy to do, but if you can change your thoughts some of the time, you’ll are making a big difference in our life.

We need to tame that monkey mind of ours.

~Wendy

Related post:

• Monkey Mind – a tip about worrying

A sad week

In the past week, a number of things happened in my life in rapid succession.  Each of these events was not exactly monumental on its own, but when they all piled up together, they brought heaviness to my heart.

I learned about 4 deaths, and was present for one of them.  I felt a deep heaviness that I haven’t felt in a long time.

With all the learning I’ve had in recent years, I am so grateful to have a healthier, wider perspective on life. Being mindful of how I’m feeling is what helps me deal with it all –  knowing that life has to have its ups and downs, that emotions are part of the human experience, and that emotions are temporary.  Also, my belief is that death is part of our journey and I take comfort in believing that those who passed on are now in a good place.

It’s OK to be sad once in awhile.   Meditation helps me greatly in times like this.

I like something I heard once a long time ago which helps me with emotional perspective:

Think to yourself “I have sadness in me” rather than “I’m a sad person”.  When you do this, you separate the sadness from who you are, knowing that it is something that is with you momentarily, and the sadness does not define you.

I hope in some way, reading this may help someone out there. Ups and downs happen to the best of us   🙂  

With no downs, there are no ups. 
With no sad, there is no happy.

Thank you for reading,

~Wendy

Related posts:

• Allow those sad emotions, if only in private
• Prepare ahead for the sad times

Wanting your significant other to meditate too?

At one of my meditation classes

“How do I get my partner interested in meditation?”  This is a question I hear quite frequently so I want to share this meaningful conversation with you.

Being a meditation teacher as a ‘side job’ amidst a busy western lifestyle, one of my favourite joys is to talk to meditators about how meditation and mindfulness has enriched their lives beyond their expectations. So much so, that they are now trying to get their partners, friends and family to take up this life practice too.

Probably more often than not, they have been met with skepticism, indifference, or simply “That’s all fine for you to meditate, but I’m not interested.”  The meditator gets frustrated then comes to speak to me for advice.

As no two situations are ever the same, here are some questions I engage the meditator in:

• What does your partner understand about meditation? (This opens up the opportunity to debunk the myths such as it’s about blanking out the mind and having no thoughts, that meditation is only an eastern religion-thing, that it’s some hippy-woo-woo-thing to do, etc…)
• Is your partner analytically-minded?  Does he/she need to see research before he/she will pay attention to something? (There are numerous articles and studies being published these days about the proven benefits of meditation and mindfulness.  Look here at a super short, great example from Scientific American magazine, a highly credible resource.  Lots of information is available about neuroplasticity of the brain and how meditation can change and calm the brain. This stuff can really resonate with the analytically-minded and can be the door that attracts them to meditation.)
• Did you try the ‘please try it for me?’ approach? (Convey how much it has helped you, and how you want to offer the same eye-opening experience to them because you care about them.)

I hope these ideas may help stimulate some ways to get your loved ones joining you in a meditation practice.  Please know that everyone is on their own journey, however, so after all the attempts, if it doesn’t ‘work’ then let them know that perhaps meditation will be something they will want to do in the future.

Also, learning in a group environment and being guided when learning meditation is undoubtedly the best way to gain confidence in meditation. It can easily be intimidating and foreign to the beginner, so perhaps finding a safe, comfortable guided meditation group is a good way to introduce newbies to meditation.

I hope this is helpful, and I welcome any further ideas you may have to share!

~Wendy

Related posts about the spiritual journey:

• Part 1 – Initiating the subject with your partner
• Part 2 – When your partner joins you
• Part 3 – When your partner is indifferent
• Part 4 – When you partner rejects it
  
• Part 5 – When you don’t have a partner

Noticing the unnoticed

Noticing someone’s passion.

When you see an artist selling their paintings on the sidewalk, or a street busker playing his guitar behind his collection hat, have you noticed what goes through you mind about them?  Does your brain register their existence at all?  What attitudes, judgments or preconceptions does your brain bring to the situation?

These questions likely have not been considered by most people.

In recent months, I have been thankful for discovering my favourite independent Canadian film, Hit n Strum, (which is currently playing on SuperChannel!) about a business woman who hits a homeless street busker with her car, and how she deals with her guilt. I have been thinking about why this film has meant so much to me, and I have realized it is because it has opened my eyes to people who put themselves out there, how people ignore them and how that must make them feel.  And in particular, how it has helped me dispel some of my preconceptions that I am happy to dispel.

Two weeks ago, I was walking along Vancouver’s seawall and came upon an artist who does lovely art work in coloured pencil. We engaged in a stimulating conversation about his experience with people in viewing his artwork, or not. He told me how he can be out in the hot sun all day, displaying his work, and sometimes only have one person buy his art in the entire day. He charges only $45 per piece. Thousands of people will stroll buy him and not even notice him. He went on to say how much he appreciated simply dialoguing with people about his work. In his case, he doesn’t do this for the money, he does this to share his passion with others, but he seems hurt when people just don’t care.

Last week, I was in Whistler where a street busker program is being piloted.  I spent time I never previously would have, stopping at each busking site to really pay attention to their performance and feeling their passion.

So having opened my eyes to paying attention to people often overlooked has not only brought me more joy, but I hope it brings joy to these artists as well.

One small way to take time, be present and enjoy life more in our busy western lives.

~Wendy

My favorite film has hit the big time! See ‘Hit n Strum’.

With no exaggeration, the up and coming independent film called ‘Hit n Strum’ has captured my constant attention, and I wanted to let you know that it’s just made it onto Super Channel!  It has been making its way across Canada playing in independent theatres, and I just knew its success would keep building.

My previous post talks about this film – how a Vancouver stuntman has created his first film, starred in it, wrote and performed the acoustic music.  Here is a clip from the film of Kirk Caouette singing my favourite song ‘Hands with the Devil’.  This has even inspired me to learn the guitar.

Way to go Kirk Caouette!  I’m routing for you all the way.  Well done!

~Wendy