Learning to accept the person you are is much easier said than done. Although we probably don’t like to admit it, it hurts when someone doesn’t like us, or judges us unfairly. Each time it happens it can make us question who we are, and easily turn into feelings of inadequacy.
One of the cornerstones of a good meditation practice is to have no judgment. When I teach mindfulness and meditation, I explain this as ‘practicing having no judgment at all about you, your meditation practice and simply everything’. Here is a key phrase that really helps me so I share it with my students:
If you don’t judge, you can’t get frustrated.
Think about that phrase for a moment . . . and do this: think about one irritating thing in your life. Now just for a moment, remove your judgments about this thing or person. When you do this, doesn’t it completely lighten up how you experience that thing now? If it doesn’t then you haven’t really removed the judgment, have you. Try again.
This is a big practice that is much easier said than done. Meditation can be a wonderful tool to ease the judgments you have in life, and the result is remarkable – more peace in your life.
Now apply that practice to yourself. If you sit in meditation, say, just a few minutes a day, and practice having no judgment of yourself, imagine how that would cultivate an amazing sense of peace in your life – a sense of self-acceptance.
We are all probably too hard on ourselves on the most part – we don’t feel worthy enough, pretty enough, thin enough, popular enough, wealthy enough…
Here’s a meditation for you:
Identify judgments you have about yourself. Just sit quietly in meditation and run through things that you judge yourself on. Then practice removing those judgments. Feel what it is like when those judgments are gone and you find self-acceptance.
Please try this practice. I wish you peace and joy in your life. Happy meditating!
~Wendy Quan, of The Calm Monkey.