Having the courage to stand your ground


Stand solid, stand alone if necessary.

When you have cancer, it brings out opinions in people. “You should listen to your doctor”, “I heard this herb cures cancer, you should take it”, “How can vitamin D prevent cancer, that’s ridiculous”, etc…

When you have cancer, or any other chronic condition, you will get suggestions from all directions from friends and family. This can be simply overwhelming, to the point where you just don’t know what to believe, and who to listen to.  But, do you know what?  Through all that confusion, it simply means that these people care enough about you to try to help.

Sometimes it could be a doctor’s recommendation that you don’t agree with, or feel the need to investigate her recommendation before you make a decision. In our western society, we are raised to listen to authority, especially our doctors.

I’ve come to realize since my diagnosis in 2010, that I can be an empowered patient.  It took me awhile to not only educate myself on what options are out there in the world that are not just surgery and drugs, but to muster up the courage to question, research, form my own opinions and ultimately act on them.

This courage is not easy. Sitting face-to-face with a well-respected oncologist and not taking her advice is difficult, especially when she looks at me disapprovingly for even daring to question her recommendation. I’m not one to cause conflict, but I am one who knows what I want.  I take an integrative approach to my health – using both western and so-called ‘alternative’ or complementary methods.  I don’t dismiss either, and I think all methods should be considered and the best way chosen for a particular condition.

Do you ever question when your doctor grabs a prescription form rather than discusses what could be the root of your ailment?  If you don’t, you should, especially if you have a chronic situation.  Our bodies have the capacity to self-heal, and sometimes we should not readily accept that it’s normal to have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, chronic digestion problems, etc. Most western doctors don’t have the time, or interest, to talk to you about holistic health care. I don’t blame them, but you can take control of your own research and decisions.

If you are someone who has that little voice in your head when you have a health condition and really don’t like to take drugs or have surgery, then please listen to that little voice and take the time to explore, see different doctors, and talk to lots of people about alternatives.  If you find something that you believe is right for you, have the courage to stand your ground despite what others think.

Standing your ground applies to anything in your life, not just what you choose for your own healthcare.  Honour yourself. Honour what you believe is right for you. Listen to what others say but still do what is right for yourself.

Stand your ground, respectfully.


I recently wrote this post: ‘Can you let go of someone’s bad decision?’.  It’s about letting go of someone else’s decisions, but in the context of the above post, turn it around 180 degrees… can you help others let go of your decisions?  Help others realize they need to respect your decisions and not judge?


6 thoughts on “Having the courage to stand your ground

  1. I woke up today thinking about how to be me, to do what is right for me regardless of others. I choose to tell a friend who is in and out of my life which I have also been guilty of, that I was choosing to spend time with me this weekend. I wanted to see her but I knew that it would be another three months before I would see or talk to her again. I need consistency right now and while I want to continue to be friends seeing her this weekend wasn’t good for me. In the past I would have made time for her even with a tight schedule. I choose not to be at the mercy of another’s whim right now because it’s not good for me. Thanks for the insightful thoughts shared here.

    • Hi Toni, I appreciate that you wrote about this. You gave a good example of how to ensure you take care of yourself first even though sometimes it’s hard because you don’t want to disappoint others or don’t want to risk damaging a relationship. Especially that you won’t see her for 3 months.

      I think the trick is ‘how’ you tell someone such news, and if done with respect, calmness and love, hopefully the other person will understand. May I ask how she took the news?

      Thank you very much Toni,

  2. the road to hell is paved with good intentions, a good reminder it is our life, thanks for the awareness

  3. It is so great to read something like this. As someone who has experienced indirectly the damage prolonged use of traditional drugs can do to someone and then to watch them finally have the courage to explore holistic measures instead is amazing. I am proud to say the person is thriving and is completely off medication that had be used for over 20 years. Feeling grateful that we have such a great friend in our life and a wonderful young man who encouraged this change.

    • Grasshopper, that’s really good to hear.

      Our society has forgotten that holistic methods have been around for thousands of years. It’s only in the past couple of generations that pharmaceutical drugs became the default for most people. The trick is researching enough to find not only what isn’t snake-oil, but what might be right for your particular case.
      The side effects from pharmaceuticals is something most people ignore.

      It’s great to hear your friend had success.
      Thanks for writing!

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