How to survive your first divorced Christmas

Surviving a divorce

How to make your first Christmas apart easier.

Divorce is not easy to begin with, and when Christmas comes roaring at you with full force, it can be overwhelming.  If you experienced a break-up of a significant relationship or a marriage this year and are facing how to deal with your first Christmas as a new single, here are some tips:

  1. Make new traditions.  If you had Christmas traditions as a couple or family, let them go. Take the opportunity to create new traditions. If you have children, involve them in designing new things they can do with you.  It can be as simple as baking or visiting Christmas light displays.
  2. Always attempt to work cooperatively with your ex. I know that most divorced couples do argue, but even if you do, it is best to take a cooperative approach.  Try to put aside any judgments you have, especially if children are involved.
  3. Do not wonder what your ex is doing. Your monkey mind will go crazy if you allow yourself to be curious what your ex is doing over the holidays and who your ex might be spending time with.  So ease your mind by making a decision not to spend time thinking about this.  Instead, spend time creating your own desired experience.
  4. If you’re lonely, throw a party!   If you’re not getting invited enough gatherings, why not arrange your own gathering?  It doesn’t have to be grand, and it could be an opportunity to cultivate new friendships.
  5. Be good to yourself.  Don’t let Christmas stress you out.  Simply just ‘be’.  Maybe treat yourself to something special, like a massage or doing something meaningful that re-energizes you. Who says Christmas can’t be spent in a bubble bath or reading a book?
  6. Be mindful.  Mindfulness includes being aware of your thoughts and emotions, without judgment of yourself.  If you feel sad, lonely, angry, lost, happy, giddy or confused, it’s all OK.  Allow yourself to have these emotions – think of emotions as visitors – they come and go and are not permanent. Knowing their impermanence helps you cope.

Enjoy the holiday season.  Please make it your own. Create it!

~Wendy

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4 thoughts on “How to survive your first divorced Christmas

  1. I just want to thank you for the time and effort you put into this blog. The messages of encouragement you share so freely with all of us is purely unselfish and so I take this opportunity to say I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and I personally look forward to another year reading your wonderful blogs.

    • A heartfelt thank you Grasshopper 🙂 The inspiration to write this blog comes from people I interact with every day. Everyone has their story, challenges, sorrows and triumphs. Sharing the experiences with everyone through this blog is a way to help raise the collective wisdom for us all.

      Grasshopper, I sincerely thank you for all your support, comments and contributions you have made all along. Thank you so much, and I wish you and your family all the best over Christmas and in the coming new year.
      ~Wendy

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