When you don’t judge, you can’t get frustrated

judge

How often are you passing judgment each day?

This is one of my basic and common messages when I teach my meditation classes, because if beginner meditators can stop judging their meditation ‘performance’ they will have much better success.

“When you don’t judge, you can’t get frustrated.”

When I say it, I see faces in the audience get curious, and as they think about it, they start to understand it.  The concept is so simple and extremely powerful for yourself.

If you stop judging things in your life, then how can you get frustrated with them?  You can gain some inner peace simply by lightening up and finding some acceptance.

Here is an example I encountered last night:

The scenario…

I saw an invitation to something called a ‘Mantra Meditation evening’, which really sounded intriguing so I took the chance and decided to go, even though I wouldn’t know anyone there and no details were given.  My mind was producing the experience even before I went – I imagined a lovely evening where a guide would lead the group through different chants or mantras to music, and mixed with quiet meditation time.  I was looking forward to it.

As I arrived, the turnout was modest, maybe 30 people, and as the facilitator opened the evening he said something about singing.  I thought to myself “Singing?  Oh no!  I can’t sing!  He’d better not really mean that, this is supposed to be about mantras and meditation! There’s no way I’m going to sing!“.

Well, sure enough, he began to play a really unique electric guitar of some kind that I had never seen, and he started singing spiritual songs.  Hardly anyone sang along. Internally, I felt my resistance shoot through the roof.  While I like music, I am not a singer! And this wasn’t mantra meditation at all!

Here’s what I did….  

I did not shut down.  I did not get up and walk out because what they advertised was not what they delivered.  I did not get angry.  I distinctly made a conscious observation of my internal resistance and stopped judging the situation.  I decided to let my judgment go, and opened up to experiencing the situation. Gosh, I even sang along to a few of the songs!!  I surprised myself.  Instead of feeling angry and resentful for 90 minutes, I made the shift quite early to not judge the evening based upon my expectations.

After it was over and I reflected on the experience, I knew the likelihood of ever attending this event again was basically nil, but I wished them well and chalked it up to having a new experience.

My example didn’t result in some happiness-generating or euphoric event, but it did neutralize what would have otherwise been a very frustrating and angry experience created in my own mind.

So, as we humans are judging and having opinions about hundreds of things per day, think about some examples of how your experience would be different if you stopped judging it.  Wouldn’t you have a difference experience?  How would your life be different?  I think you would find some peace that may surprise you.

Thank you kindly for reading.

~Wendy

4 thoughts on “When you don’t judge, you can’t get frustrated

  1. I’m with you on this one, Wendy. I have a simple little lyric I like to sing (off key) when this happens and it goes:
    I am peace. Peace is in me. Is in me.
    Let us free each other ~ with our words ~ with our prayers.

    I close my eyes, breath and let go…..

    • Hi Al, I do still have expectations, because when I look forward to doing something, I can’t help but create a story in my mind about how it may play out. However, I soften the expectation by just being open to let the experience unfold, and taking it in for what it is.

      If I am ‘disappointed’ about something, I have a certain amount of acceptance about it, and again, have the ‘experience’ rather than let it bother me.

      This is very much what ‘The People vs the State of Illusion’ teaches…. moving from Content to Process. This means not focusing on the ‘subject’ or ‘topic’ at hand, but instead capturing the essence of the interaction and experience.

      I’m certainly not perfect at this, but since I’ve approached life this way, life is so much grander, easier and happier.

      thanks for commenting!
      ~Wendy

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