The busy trap

highway traffic

Do we have to be on-to-go all the time?

People’s unconscious need to say they are busy is worth re-visiting. Why do so many people say this?

If we don’t say we’re ‘so busy’, do we think we are unworthy? Are we worried that people will think we’re lazy?  Does the word ‘busy’ really mean ‘tired and worn out’, or maybe it really means ‘my life is full of things I don’t really enjoy?’

Two years ago, I set my intention to enjoy life much more. Sometimes I’m busy and sometimes I’m not. To me, it’s no longer about filling my schedule and feeling somehow inadequate if I have a whole day with nothing scheduled.  Just being, and experiencing life moment by moment, is what has brought more meaning to my life. I have intentionally set boundaries to ensure I have balance in my life.

Last week, someone asked me what I do in my spare time. Upon reflection, I noticed I felt some self-inflicted pressure to list a lot of things that I do, to show that I’m accomplishing a lot in life.  I later realized that my true answer should have been that I spend my time learning and experiencing life.

If you are someone who often says ‘I’m so busy’ with exasperation, I invite you to explore what is behind that.

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10 thoughts on “The busy trap

  1. I think there is a big difference between being the driver of your life (being in control of your busyness) and being driven through life by obligations. I am a very busy person, but I love what I do, and I can stop at any time. That kind of busyness never generates exasperated sighs. I also know that this is not the norm. Most of the people I know are driven through life like they are being chased by a pack of wild dogs. They are busy and feel as though they have no control over this. They would say, “I don’t have a choice!” So I don’t think being busy is an issue so much as what psychologists refer to as ‘the perceived locus of control’. A related notion is that of intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation. Are you motivated by external things in the world? Money, fear, lust, greed, etc. — or are you motivated by internal factors like autonomy, mastery, purpose, joy and engagement? Completely different orientations toward the same reality.

  2. A great post. I once called myself the “most busy and least productive person I know.” I’m trying to turn that around and become the least busy and most productive person I know. Your post brings me back to that desire.

    Will be happily following your wonderful blog. Tom

  3. This one really struck a cord with me. Our life is so full of responsibilities and I have really tried to make a conscious effort to spend time just enjoying being on my own. It is a very hard thing for me. I was surprised the other day when one of my clients commented that you have such an interesting life you are always trying something different. I am so busy enjoying things with others that I forget to spend time with myself.

    • Grasshopper, I’m glad this made you stop and reflect. I think we all need to spend time with ourselves. To learn about ourselves, to be intrigued, curious and fascinated.

  4. Wendy, great question, I have been listening to Dr. Joes meditation, finally after one month it is not a fight to sit and do the meditation, can I not stand my own company, always need to be moving or thinking, , thankyou.

    • Hi Al, that’s wonderful progress!! That fact that you see progress shows that you can do this.
      Dr Dispenza’s teachings are wonderful, as I’ve blogged about previously. Meditation will help you tremendously. Good for you. Well done!

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