My last post was about doing something meaningful for someone else to boost their day. An intriguing comment from ‘Margaret’ got me thinking deeper about this.
The concept of doing something good for someone else secretly, without letting the person know, and not telling anyone else what you have done. Now that truly is being selfless. Read a fellow blogger’s post about this Japanese concept called Intoku.
I think most of us think of ourselves generally as being good human beings, and like to do good things for others, but let’s think about why we are doing the good deed…. is it to:
- get recognition from the receiver and others that you have done a good thing? that you are indeed a good person for doing this?
- that you want the person to know they are valued and cared for?
- to simply observe the joy that you bring to someone else without anything expected in return?
I find the concept of doing something good in secret is an intriguing thing to ponder, because truly not expecting anything in return, not even the recognition that you were the giver, is a truly ego-less act. We all have egos. Are we giving in order for our own ego to be stroked?
This is really making me think. I tend to be a giver – an example is I will often give a small gift to someone if I am visiting them and haven’t seen them for awhile. My significant other has pointed out to me that by doing this, I may be putting the person in an uncomfortable position because they likely have not planned a gift in return and therefore feels badly. So I think, why do I do this? I believe I simply want the person to feel like I care about them and want to show I was thinking about them. I really don’t expect anything in return, but now that I think further about this, I don’t want them to feel obligated or guilty, so… hmmm…
So I end this post by simply putting this ego-less giving concept of Intoku out there to you, for you to ponder for yourself.