This is Part 4 in the series ‘Is your partner with you on your spiritual journey?’. Do you have a partner who rejects your spiritual interests?
- Part 1 – Initiating the subject with your partner
- Part 2 – When your partner joins you
- Part 3 – When your partner is indifferent
- Part 4 – When you partner rejects it (this post)
- Part 5 – When you don’t have a partner
I have talked to many people who steer away from talking to their partner about spiritual topics, because their partner firmly rejects or mocks it all. Typically, here is how the rejection looks:
- the partner talks about spirituality as ‘woo-woo’, ‘Oprah-ish’, believing in angels, ghosts, auras, witchcraft, etc.
- makes jokes about it
- makes the person feel silly, and that it’s all a waste of time
The partner’s rejection becomes obvious pretty quickly, which creates a negative, unsupportive environment.
I’m talking about outward rejection, not just indifference.
Whether the person seeking spiritual growth admits it or not, I have found that they feel somewhat rejected and diminished, as they take their partner’s verbal lashings to heart. It typically causes an unfortunate, underlying distance between them.
I have seen cases where the spiritual seeker essentially abandons their interests because they don’t want to pursue it without their partner, simply don’t want to be ridiculed, or don’t want their differences to ruin their relationship. Sometimes it causes the seeker to go ‘underground’ – reading books, surfing the internet or engaging in conversations unbeknownst to the partner. I’ve seen the odd case where it contributes to the breakup of the relationship.
However, I would say most often what I see is the seeker longs to connect with like-minded people, trying to find a community of people to growth with, and hopes that maybe one day, their partner will open his/her mind and curiosity as well.
To anyone who might be the ‘partner’ in this case, meaning the one who is not interested in spirituality but their partner is, I ask you to be open to allowing your partner to explore in a supportive way.
Have you experienced rejection behaviour or witnessed it in other couples? If so, I invite you to share things that you have done to get your partner interested in spirituality, or how you feel if your partner rejects your beliefs. You can leave a comment without using your real name if you so desire.
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